Saturday, 15 December 2012

What a saga, hell of a week and a lesson to all!

It appears I have a nack for making u all chuckle at my daily adventures so I'm bored pant-less at being made to stay in the house all day today and feel the need to share a little amuse bouche with y'all. Yes I did say amuse bouche, I do know what it really means but I love the word bouche. So fermer la bouche and read on lol! (sorry this will be a giant post, if you get bored easy then move to another blog LOL, but if you're about to have any bathroom work done read on!)

As most of you probably know by now if you follow my twitter madness, me and Mr D are having a new bathroom fitted. Now, I've been waiting 12.5 years for this new bathroom. When we moved here I hated it and vowed it would have to be changed within a year or two at most cos it was hideous and old. And here we are. Mr D is no DIY'er, that I can tell you. We're talking about the man who made shelves from a cardboard tube and to this day thinks it's a proud achievement. I used to love decorating and DIY when I had nothing better to do in my pre-craft days, but the task of painting dark beige farmhouse style tiles white in my kitchen 7 times in a week to get rid of the brown kind of sapped all the DIY'ness from my aching arms forever. I've never picked up a paintbrush since and the kitchen remains half-done from where I had to go back to work. 12 years ago. Serious! And quite honestly I would rather do anything than DIY these days, ugh, it really did put me off for life.

So, back to the bathroom. 2 years ago I tripped as I got in the bath for a shower and put my size 8 through the side of the bath, creating a nice big 3" crack up the side. We couldnt afford to replace it at the time as I was determined I wanted the whole room doing and as it's always been tiled head to toe in there it was always going to be a big job, so it was good old Pinflair to the rescue! About 6 months later   I dropped a big heavy bottle of shampoo on the crack and it had a nice extension! More Pinflair!  Then about 3 months ago Mr Doodles had a bath one day and it decided to go even more, so finally enough is enough, after 2 years of Pinflair holding it together we had to admit defeat!  As always these things happen when you're broke but by hook or crook we've managed to scrape the money together to get it done even though it's escalated ridiculously cost-wise. I've been looking for months for a cheap bathroom suite and finally got one on an ebay auction of all things! A mega wide P shaped bath (which is mahoosive), shower screen, taps, sink, toilet, wastes and everything a girl could need, delivered to the door for a bargainous price. So we managed to get a plumber recommended and he came to fit it for us. Only the toilet was all scuffed and the seat didnt match. So I phoned up, complained and got another FOC within 3 days - great service! In the meantime the plumber's cousin came in to start the tiling. Only he didnt do it himself. Big boo boo Mr Tiler man! Now we are talking about a room that is 1.7m x 2m big here. The wall where the bath goes has a large window and we are using those big tiles (cheapest we could get of course although in the end turned out to be a good choice over the more expensive ones), so in all they are only putting back half as many tiles as were on in the first place. Except this guy has to be one of the worst tilers ever. I think I could have done as good a job myself. The only reason I didnt do it is because from experience I am rubbish at doing the cutting angles thing - I did our laminate flooring but I bodged it a bit round the edges and I really wanted a good job with this - I'm gonna have to look at it for years to come.
Anyway, the first day I wasnt v impressed with the quality of the tiling work, the 2nd day I was thinking maybe it wouldnt look too bad when it was finished (hopefully). The 3rd day...well the 3rd day a tile fell off the window and took a big chip out of the bath right near the plughole. Ok, so it was an accident but WHY o WHY didnt he put a dustsheet in the bath to protect it? SURELY you would, right?? Well, I would anyway, especially on a brand spanking new shiny white spotless bath that had only been used once??? No, we're talking about a man here and a numpty one at that. So Mr Boss Tiler said he knew a proper pro repair man who charged £120 he would get in to do it. Fine! I wasnt happy but as he was going to put it right and I know they do a good job and it wouldnt be visible it was an acceptable solution (yes I know, I'm VERY amicable, right!).
So the next day I get home to an absolute STENCH in the house and could hardly breathe. Mr Doodles was already outside mid asthma attack from hideous fumes through the whole house and managed to wheeze at me that it was the solution he'd used to fix the chip. HE, not THEY. Mr Boss tiler had taken it upon himself to save himself a few quid, bought a repair kit and done it himself. Only it was awful!! The hole had filled but you have to spray over it to seal it all and the spray had obviously spread and covered half the bath. Now, a woman would have known to CLEAN the bath first and knows how much dust can settle when workmen come in. Men (sorry I know men read this, but I am talking about the other 99% of the male population) men just dont think of these things. So, the acetone spray stuff (which is like a car spray varnish so u can imagine the stink) has a dull finish, not the bright shiny spotless white finish on my bath! And to boot - all the tile dust had obviously settled and got stuck in the spray so all the bottom and sides of the bath were all rough and felt like they were pitted! My bath was ruined!! :O
To make matters worse I then discovered he'd also done another area which we hadn't even noticed, so there had been 2 holes and he'd only admitted to one. I just couldnt believe how awful it was and that he thought this was acceptable!! To ruin someone's brand new bath, try to repair it and fail and then walk away without saying anything - horrendous! Of course I was completely livid about the whole thing and then looked at everything else that was wrong in there. The first thing was the trim around the windowsill - there was a lip of about 3-5mm of trim, so when you have a shower all the water will collect behind it on the sill...previously the sill sloped a little bit so it all drained off, but there was no great big fat trim overlap! I went to bed raging about it and instead of going to work waited for him to arrive the next morning.
I TOLD you it was a saga didnt I!!
So when I got up next morning it was the brightest day we'd had all week and to my horror I noticed the centre tile in the middle of one wall was also chipped - absolutely no excuse, the guy must have been blind not to see it. THEN, as I was looking at my broken bath again in amazement I noticed a THIRD chip on the side which we'd all missed before! THREE!! No way Jose!! The 2nd one hadn't filled properly anyway so there was still a dip and the whole bath didnt look new any more because of the difference between the matt finish and the shiny one. If I hadnt been so angry I would have wept!
So Boss Tiler breezes in (an hour late) and promptly gets told I want a new one, no arguments, it needs to be replaced at his cost. He had nothing to say except for going bright red. Hi numpty tiler man beat a very quick retreat back to the van I noticed. He was also told about the other stuff that wasnt right too and sent off with a flea in his ear. Yay, go me! I hate confrontation but no way was i putting up with this crap!
So I ordered another bath (bear in mind we're already on the 2nd toilet). When the receipt was emailed to me I noticed something odd in the description...luckily...when I queried it the idiot at the other end of the phone had ordered me a new shower screen!! FFS!!!!!!! Are all these people just DUMB?? How the hell does NEW BATH possibly sound like NEW SHOWER SCREEN??? Even a lipreading deaf person couldnt make that mistake?? Thank god I noticed the anomoly, I'd have slashed my wrists if another screen had turned up!
ANYWAY (you still awake yet, my life is one whole saga like this constantly!)...
So today the tiler came back to take the tiles back off the wall so the new bath can go in and the plumber comes back to fit the new bath, the sink and the new toilet...
The Tiler is coming back tomorrow to finish off the tiles...at last...YAY, it will be finished tomorrow!...
Until the plumber finishes tonight and can't put the shower screen on because it needs to go where the chipped tile was and of course, the tiler took it off again....
And then the OH notices that they fitted the new loo but have put the OLD seat which is the wrong colour and doesnt match back onto the NEW toilet...(Mr D has said he will do it, we daren't say anything else lol).
OH.MY.GOD.
I LOST THE WILL TO LIVE AT 6pm TODAY.
OFFICIALLY.
The tiler comes back tomorrow to finish off his bits. I havent even spoken about the grout. I havent even mentioned the ropey cutting under the radiator that I'll have to look at for life now because I think if I mention it the tiler might kill himself, or how lovely the plumber is and that he has done a brilliant job and called the tiler's mate a numpty today.
SOB. I just want my bathroom done...pleeeeeeeease!!

Our next project is the kitchen. The kitchen has been waiting 12.5yrs to be done too. The kitchen too is tiled head to toe. The kitchen will NOT, I state categorically NOT be tiled head to toe in future! I can't face it, give me painted walls and a splashback or I will not make it to be another year older!!

Over and out. Literally. Passed out with trauma for the 2nd time in a week.